Be Happy, it’s More Fun and it Attracts More Good to You Now!
By doing the things suggested herein, you will continue to grow and succeed and be happy…on and on, all the days of your life. Now, that’s as good a ride in life as you’re going to find. And it’s a natural high. And there’s not a drink or a drug that can top it.
Are you ready to get happy now?
How to Acquire the Habit of Happiness
Can you make yourself happy? Yes, to a large extent you can; and we often try to do so by using external devices, eating, entertainment, romantic love, sex, smoking, drinking alcohol, drugs, music, movies, vacations, holiday celebrations, etc. Of course, you can engage in fun, clean, wholesome activities, festivals, parties, vacations, various amusements and entertainment venues, and any hobby or recreational activities you enjoy, and be happy. These wholesome activities are smart things to do when you can and desire to do so, in moderation of course; and you should have a bunch of this activity in your life for sure. Another powerful, life enhancing choice is hanging around positive people intentionally; it’s definitely a good thing to do; they are fun to be around and they rub off on you. A well-balanced lifestyle and living healthy are important too. These are all examples of some of the actions you take to be happy.
I think you’d agree that many of activities mentioned above are wholesome, fun, and good things for you to do, and some of them are not. So we need to incorporate the good ones into our lives more often, and not so much the destructive ones. But really and truly, you can engage in any of these external activities and behaviors, either as a matter of tradition, a planned event or as an escape–attempting to change how you feel; and regardless of the reason you do it, you can still be unhappy, during or afterwards. This is true; because, when it comes to how you feel, it’s your thoughts that matter most.
Where does Happiness come from?
I believe Abraham Lincoln got it right when he said, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” (That’s an interesting quote coming from a man who spent the majority of his life in a melancholy state. But then again he would know.) He was saying you are in control of your personal happiness. In other words, it’s the internal stuff, and not the external stuff, that ultimately determines your happiness.
Indeed, short-term happiness and joy stem predominately from what you focus on at the moment. Therefore, you can intentionally create happiness or joy for yourself. It’s self-evident; for proof consider this: you can choose to focus on uplifting joyous thoughts. Yes, you can close the door (in your mind) to worry and sundry destructive thoughts and at the same time open the door to positive thoughts–thereby creating the thought stream of your choice. This in turn influences your mood.
To open the positive thought door, you select a positive thought to think about. Some possibilities include, visualizing your future, that is, seeing in your mind the future you desire coming true; or, you can review past pleasantries. These are but two general examples of the types of thoughts behind the door of positive thoughts.
If you want to be happy, make it a habit to open the door to positive thoughts regularly, especially when you feel worry or dull or down. If you do this repetitively, and make it a matter of practice, you’ll build up strong neural pathways to happy feelings; and then you’ll have, on demand, positive thought streams from which you can take full possession of your mind and create happiness for yourself at will. Now, let’s look at how you can create positive thought streams for this very purpose and develop the habit of happiness.
Build Memory Banks of Positive Thought Streams
A handy mental tool to have available for opening the door of positive thoughts is your own personal library of positive thought streams. You can create an entire mental library of positive, joyous and good thoughts. Like building personal song play lists, you can build these streams by category, people, events, words, stories, whatever category you choose. And it’s simple to do; you do it by reminiscing and introspection of pleasant memories, creative linking of all good people and events in your life, futuristic musing of what you want, thinking of favorites–songs, movies, pictures, people, pets, things, etc.
When you think of these positive memories be sure to link the powerful emotions that go with them, the love, laughter, smiles, kisses, etc. After you recall them and the attendant positive feelings, begin to file them in new arrangements in your mind by linking them together forming new groups. These are your mental playlists or positive thought streams. Experiment with different arrangements. For example, you could link by similarity; linking all the things you like under “good stuff” and link all the people you like, under “good people”. And you can experiment with building interconnecting links (look for commonalities, connections, contrast, contiguity, similarity, any association whatsoever whether logical or not). It’s up to you to link-up positive memories where it makes sense for you. Another interesting way to link great memories is to build a story using the people and things you like. To do it, make up a fictional tale using the people, events and items you like as the characters and backdrops, etc. This story will serve to powerfully connect the things that made you happy to the same thread. This makes it easier to remember a lot of things quickly because all you have to do, when you want to bring up the memories, is remember the linking story that ties them together. Recalling the fictional tale will set off a fire storm of positive memory links in your mind. And each person or item in the story will access a true and real memory path of the people and times you enjoyed–the stuff that made you laugh, experience joy and generally made you happy.
After you create them, be sure to use these threads, links and stories often, especially after first creating them. In this way, you strengthen them in your memory. The other benefit is that by frequently reminiscing about the good and the beautiful and the joyous times in your life, you will strengthen the individual positive memories that make up your library; and weaken the negative ones (The negatives will atrophy due to lack of use.) that you’ve been carrying around. (I know you carry negative memories around because we all do; I think the reason we hold onto these negative memories, is because a negative experience hurts us and sometimes they scar us; so we want to avoid this in the future; and it hurt when it occurred. In any case, powerful negative experiences tend to have greater emotional impact on our psyche–they disturb us emotionally; so naturally they are easier memories for us to recall. Unless of course you buried something hurtful deep in your mind; in which case you need psychotherapy to help you uncover it; so you can heal yourself.)
Do you have to create a big positive playlist library? Well consider this, what is better, to read 1000 books but not remember much about any of them or to know a lot about five or six really great books. Or how about this, would you prefer to know three hundred Karate moves but none very well or twelve moves so well you could perform them, when the occasion of need arises, without thinking? Or, what is better, to know one hundred dance steps but no complete dance or to be able to dance three complete dances like a pro? Well, so it is with your happy memories, even if you don’t have but one or two playlists, that’s plenty, because you’ll know them well–so you use them, and eventually you will make more.
Now that you’ve created a playlist or two, practice playing them over and over for a few weeks until they are ingrained and crystal clear in your memory. By doing so, you’ll be able to call them to mind on demand. This rote practice is suggested so that whenever you need to boost your emotions and actions into a positive attitude, you’ll be able to do so easily and effectively. (Think of it as like knowing the Karate moves subconsciously; if you don’t, they’re practically useless; but knowing them well, you can rely on you executing them when you need them.) And whenever you desire to experience happiness, knowing your playlists, the positive door will be easy for you to open. And then like brings like and you have just opened the floodgates of happiness for yourself.
Having created a strong and vibrant library of positive memories and thoughts, you now have at your command an instant way to experience joy and happiness.
As is anything worth doing, building these happy memory banks will require some discipline and mental work on your part; but it will definitely be worth it for you. Doing so you’ll be able to take control over the only thing in this world you have the right and freedom to control–your mind. And controlling your mind is the greatest gift you can give yourself; by doing so, you will live happier, be more productive, and attract many untold benefits into your life. Now let’s look deeper into how you can be happy now.
Be Happy Now!
If you are blue, bummed or down for no valuable reason, do this: take off the “Downer Recording” with attendant negative mental imagery and replace it with a “Good Happy Recording”, one that has the positive mental imagery of a joyous occasion, happy instance or the future you desire. This “Good Happy Recording” can be any single uplifting memory you have, or one of your newly created playlists from your happy memory banks.
In regards to being sad or blue, often being down for short periods of time is normal and part of the ebb and flow of our existence. Being appropriately sad, weeping, mourning, or being depressed is often healthy and necessary for you to heal and be renewed to your normal status. This is especially true when something sad has happened to you recently. Sorrow is a healthy emotion and should be fully experienced and expressed when sad things occur. Heck even if a story or song makes you sad, it is still appropriate and healthy to express this emotion.
What I’m talking about herein is tossing the habit of being down and replacing it with the habit of being up. To accomplish this goal, what you want to do is condition your mind, by repetitively bathing it with happy thoughts, to be happy and energetic. By conditioning yourself to be happy, you will gain overall control of your mind and attract more of what you want from life. Besides being happy more often, you’ll enjoy life much more, you’ll attract more good stuff into your life and you’ll attract more good people into your world. After all, happy people are more attractive to others, in all ways; and this happy energy has a tendency to bring good things into your life.
And all this positivity becomes a positive upward spiral, propelling you up and up and up. It keeps building because you have more and more positive memories and thought streams then you have negative. This enables you to enjoy life more, experience greater positive attraction, feel better about yourself and thereby achieve more success.
And all these good things are yours because you chose to condition your mind to be happy. So if you are down because it’s become a habit for you and there is no medical reason, then you can change this and create a new habit by selecting and dwelling on positive things, events, people and memories. Remember, you are in charge of your thoughts, not the outside world; so, you can decide at any moment to bring your attention to happy thoughts. In other words, deliberately think pleasant thoughts; and, be happy now! If you do this regularly, you will form it as a habit; and thereby you will experience less pain and more joy–on-going.
Happiness for Life
In general, long-range happiness comes from satisfying your biological and emotional needs in a rational and responsible lifestyle and living free according to your own standards (Living free being defined as having control over your destiny, daily lifestyle and actions. (Although people who are not free can be relatively happy, they would be happier if they were free.)) (In regards to your actions, they must always be rational and responsible in order to be beneficial to you and others.) Accordingly, happiness stems from rational actions, honesty, respect for self and others’ individual rights, high self-esteem, personal industry and daily pleasant thoughts.
Unless you are incapable, to be generally happy, you need at minimum these three things: an accurate self-image and good feeling about yourself, an honest and effective way to deal with objective reality, and be industrious in producing value for others. But there are others, so here are my Seven Keys to a Happy Life:
Seven Keys to a Happy Life:
- Continuously and honestly provide a needed product or service to others.
- Consistently care for your body and mind.
- Make morally good choices daily–on-going.
- Seek to always be honest and search for the truth in all situations (Challenge statements, opinions and actions and be discerning. Learn to detect crap. Evaluate all experiences and everything you are told–seeking to know the truth and keep learning.).
- Always be striving to achieve personal goals (Be content and grateful; but have enough dissatisfaction to keep your ambition alive and stay motivated to grow as a person.)
- Daily, practice pleasant thinking.
- Have an optimistic vision for your future and the future of mankind. (And incorporate therewith your personal mission, one you are continuously working on and improving upon.)
The Foundation of Your Happiness
If self-esteem is the barometer of how much you like and trust yourself; and how much you like yourself determines much of your thoughts and behaviors; and your thoughts and behaviors, in turn, have much to do with the quality of your life; then it’s accurate to suggest that liking yourself is the foundation for living a well-adjusted, happy life. So then, to be a happy and live a quality life, where most of your time here is more pleasant than not, liking yourself is vital; in other words to experience ongoing personal happiness, it all begins with liking yourself.
And liking yourself begins with personal honesty, more especially to self. Moreover, being honest with yourself and others is the easiest way to build, maintain, repair and strengthen self-esteem. In fact, being honest is a requirement of strong self-esteem for two reasons, one is, it is the only way you can deal effectively with reality and the second, you like yourself more for bring so. (If you can’t effectively deal with reality you will be incapable of self-reliance, lack confidence and stunt your growth as a person; these will be reflected in you having a low opinion of yourself and struggling and suffering throughout much of your lifetime. Likewise, if you are dishonest, you will always know it; consequently, you’ll have a low opinion of yourself.)
Another aspect of prime importance to liking yourself is that of providing an honest value to others in your world–you use your abilities, contribute, and accomplish; and this in turn, gives you a sense of relevance and standing in the world; you feel needed and important and this allows you to feel good about yourself; and as a result, your self-image is strengthened.
Moreover, character development, personal growth, and maturity lead to greater levels of productivity and self-like. These combined with healthy, pleasant, optimistic, rational thinking lead to long-range happiness. And all equals self-esteem; which is indeed the foundation of your happiness.
Creating, Maintaining and Building up Your Self-Esteem
A healthy and genuine self-esteem is a result of your life choices and loyalty to honesty. Furthermore, you build a high estimate of yourself by making wise choices, owning up to and correcting unwise ones and by maintaining personal integrity and self-respect. Additionally, when you build yourself up, via personal improvements and by correcting the things you don’t like about yourself, your self-image expands. What’s more, if you choose appropriate challenges and accomplish personally meaningful goals, you will grow as a person and your self-esteem will grow as well; and it all begins with you being honest with yourself–this is a requirement.
Now, if you want to feel the greatest shot of self-esteem you can possibly generate, achieve goals you value. You’ll be amazed at what this does for your self-esteem. But the foundation has to be in place; and then you must achieve your goals within the boundaries of your most cherished values. Do this and your self-esteem will grow like crazy. Without a doubt, it’s the biggest booster of self-esteem that is available. (It’s the reason why successful people are extremely confident, usually charming and attract more success.)
By doing the things suggested above, you continue to grow and succeed and be happy…on and on, all the days of your life. Now, that’s as good a ride in life as you’re going to find. And it’s a natural high. And there’s not a drink or a drug that can top it.
If you want to be happy now, Here’s an exercise that’ll do the trick; it’s called “Question Your Way to Happiness”.
Question Your Way to Happiness
Here’s how to do it: ask yourself questions that generate good feelings for you; then meditate on the answers, the wonderful memories of your life.
What experiences in my past where happy ones?
What have been the best times or moments of my life?
Who loves me?
Who do I love?
What can I notice or think about right now that makes me smile?
What pleasant idea or memory can I recall this instant?
What people have I known that where kind, cool, funny, good and joyful?
What people, when I think of them, makes me smile?
Who do I know that energizes me?
Think about and bring to mind often–the people, places and things that fit the bill when asked who and what have you liked, and enjoyed; who has comforted you? Where were you when you where having fun, laughing, experiencing joy?
Repeating special positive phrases, to yourself, over and over again has good influence on your mind and overall wellbeing. Here is a list to get you started. But, feel free to make up your own sentences as you desire. The best practice is to use these statements daily. But don’t try to use them all at once, only select one or two you really like, whatever sounds good to you; and then use it/them for this purpose. And use it/them often. Simply repeat them to yourself over and over again; you can do this at odd moments throughout the day, repeating them ten or fifteen times in succession.
– Today I’m focusing on what’s good
– I happily transcend and solve problems
– Every day, moment by moment, I will be as cheerful as possible
– I am solution oriented now
– I’m enthusiastic about my future vision
– I allow myself to feel unbounded joy now
– Everyday I experience more joy
– Everyday in every way, I’m getting happier and happier
– I love life and life loves me back
– I’m grateful for everything that happens to me and it serves me
“Objects we ardently pursue bring little happiness when gained; most of our pleasures come from unexpected sources.” –Herbert Spencer
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
“Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen.” –Epictetus
“Happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of the time.” –Dr. John Schindler
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”